2022-01-26
I came across this Substack piece that made me think about my intentions for creating this site. In part, I think creating a visual diary helps me remember how I felt at the time, and I think it helps me navigate my thoughts (including my feelings of grief). I want to be able to look back at this and see if/how I’ve changed. Will I look back at this and cringe? I want to accept my cringe and be free.
"But grief, as I’ve come to learn, is rarely a singular event that you neatly convert into productivity. Sometimes grief is unfinished for your entire lifetime, and you spend all your days digging your loved ones out of an already made grave. Sometimes it is all you can do but to not sink into the earth along with them."
"I wish I could have told my younger self that sometimes the most we can do is get by. That there was no need to prove my love by publicly memorializing my pain for others to gawk at."
"If creating art and sharing it helps you find closure and move through, I hope you find time to do that. But I hope that we can know that our grief and subsequent healing need not be public to be valid. Sometimes all we can manage is to suffer quietly. And that is enough."
(I wanted to carve out my own little void on the internet to scream into)
my emoting is here to stay
I’m feeling so emotionally drained lately
new ryuichi touched my soul
Potato is sick again and it’s stressing me out. I’m taking him in for x-rays this weekend because the doctor wants to see if he has tumors. Why do I have a feeling the new batch of special protein food he’s eating has different ingredients from previous shipments...confronting his mortality makes me so sad...
Finding so many cool websites on neocities. I took this screenshot from suyu
Finally found an INFJ description that makes sense to me