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2022-07-08

stuck in my thoughts lately
I'm Ruminating

I set up a consultation appointment with a therapist, I really hope it works out. I’ve been feeling pretty low these past few weeks. I can’t stop overthinking and catastrophizing. It feels self-destructive and I don’t like feeling this way.

It’s interesting because it seems like some friends have been feeling similarly...is there something in the air?

i want to discover my passions

I can’t remember the last time I spent time “honing a craft”. There are things I’m interested in and my friends think I’d be good at, but I never really pursue it

why do hobbies cost so much money T_T
why can’t I stick to something T_T

Really into Oliver Nelson’s Skull Session album right now...velvety jazz with a dab of chaos

I find myself hyperfixated on shopping purchases lately. I think it’s my way of distracting myself from the catastrophic thoughts. I scratch these temporary itches, then I end up returning stuff, rinse and repeat

I recently thought of this collage I made in 2015. It was when Rex The Dog’s You Are A Blade EP came out. This is how the single made me feel...bubbly...transcendent...like I elevated out of the darkness into a field of flowers

Lately I’ve been craving that feeling of being in a dark room with techno blasting...I want to feel the bass reverberating through my body

untz the thoughts away lol

I listened to Alan Fitzpatrick mixes on my headphones but it wasn’t the same

stay present
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that was then   but this is now   what is next?

home   is this still me?